Another Lifetime: Eve

Friday, January 1, 2010

Eve

Last year at this time I felt like I was limping a tattered, used up soul over the year's finish line. 2009 was truly a clean start. I'm not sure how I got so lucky. I believe that angels have watched over me.

After heaving a suitcase out of the window, almost immediately a breeze blew in with weightless but precious treasures. Treasures that were mine with just a deep breath of the fresh air.

I met an angel, or an angel gave me a friend who was like me. I learned how to see tangible beauty in abstract pain.

I had to fight for my job, and it was healthy for me.

I tried, really hard, to let my loved ones look all the way into my eyes without pulling the invisible curtains across.

I embraced my husband and I told him I loved him and needed him every day, many times. We made a baby boy. This baby I carry into the New Year, truly the fruits of my labor in life

(and yet, I have not earned this, and yet, I have)

I look to 2010 with joy, gratitude and humility. I wish you all an adventure per day, wholeness of being, and love, love, love.

S

8 comments:

Maria said...: Love, love, love for you as well, this is beautiful and 2010 is going to be a year overflowing with blessings for all.; January 1, 2010 at 4:44 PM
Unknown said...: something inside of me deeps a really deep breath whilst reading this.

i can sense the newness. the freshness.; January 2, 2010 at 10:49 AM
Unknown said...: oops : )

i meant to say: something inside of me breathes a really deep breath.; January 2, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Cindy said...: you deserve all the good things that have come your way!; January 3, 2010 at 3:30 PM
kendalee said...: What a difference a year makes. I still remember the first of your posts I read and how it touched me so deeply. I've felt really honoured to witness even a glimpse of this profound journey Sheila, one which it feels to me you've travelled so bravely and honestly, and expressed so beautifully. And which has inspired me to be braver too. Thank you for this and for your lovely wishes, which I accept gladly and wish for you too - love, love, love, especially! I can't wait to see how 2010 unfolds...; January 4, 2010 at 9:45 AM
Unknown said...: May I say that I'm happy for you too.
And that holding your baby in your arms will be joy unimagined.
Wishes for good things to you too.; January 4, 2010 at 1:14 PM
My Farmhouse Kitchen said...: Stopping by to say Hello and wishing you all good things for 2010...sounds like it will be a special year...

Fondly,
Kary
xxx; January 5, 2010 at 10:17 AM
onesilentwinter said...: beautiful post sheila, thank you for your kindness and friendship.; January 6, 2010 at 3:13 PM

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What I'm Reading

Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson

The Hour I First Believed, Wally Lamb

The Bookseller of Kabul, Åsne Seierstad

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, Maggie O'Farrell
"Esme stares at the spiked rocks. She stares and stares until they begin to lose their third dimension, until they begin to look unfamiliar, insubstantial. Like the way words said over and over become just a slurry of a sound. She says the word 'word' over and over in her head until she hears only 'dwur-dwur-dwur'. She is aware of those numbers, the two and the eight, trying to find a place to slip back in. They have been lurking at the edges where she pushed them and they are mounting an assault, a break-in. She won't have it. She will not."

The House of Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
"But as for the old structure of our story, its white-oak frame, and its boards, shingles, and crumbling plaster, and even the huge, clustered chimney in the midst, seemed to constitute only the least and meanest part of its reality. So much of mankind's varied experience had passed there, -so much had been suffered, and something, too, enjoyed,- that the very timbers were oozy, as with the moisture of a heart."

The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
"She was sitting up now. My arm was around her and she was leaning back against me, and we were quite calm. She was looking into my eyes with that way she had of looking that made you wonder whether she really saw out of her own eyes. They would look on and on after every one else's eyes in the world would have stopped looking. She looked as though there were nothing on earth she would not look at like that, and really she was afraid of so many things"

The Life You Can Save: Acting now to end world poverty, Peter Singer
"In the United States, 97 percent of those classified by the Census Bureau as poor own a color TV. Three quarters of them own a car. Three quarters of them have air conditioning. All have access to health care. I am not quoting these figures to deny that the poor in the United States face genuine difficulties. Nevertheless, for most, these difficulties are of a different order than those of the world's poorest people."

Kiss Me Like a Stranger: My search for love and art, Gene Wilder

Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
"I walked into an office building one afternoon in a hurry, dashed into the waiting elevator. As I rushed in, I caught an unexpected glimpse of myself in a security mirror's reflection. In that moment my brain did an odd thing-it fired off this split second message: 'Hey! You know her! That's a friend of yours!' And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar......Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend"

The Kindness of Strangers, Katrina Kittle

The Alchemist, Paolo Coelho, translated by Alan Clarke
"'Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him,' his heart said. 'We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, towards its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them- the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place. So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts.'"

Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
"For this is the truth about our soul, he thought, our self, who fish-like inhabits deep seas and plies among obscurities threading her way between the boles of giant weeds, over sun-flickered spaces and on and on into gloom, cold, deep, inscrutable; suddenly she shoots to the surface and sports on the wind-wrinkled waves;"

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
"The room hovered around me with great gentleness, as if the chairs and the tables and the walls were witholding their weight out of sympathy for my sudden frailty"

Another Lifetime

Friday, January 1, 2010

Eve

8 comments:

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