Circles

It was during the meditative part of the prenatal yoga class that I traveled. A silky voice cut through the gentle wave crashes and spoke of the little fingers and toes, arms and legs that are moving up and down, ears that can hear, inside. I turned my closed eyes inward and somersaulted into warmth. I felt a gentle rocking and heard

Tender Shepherd Tender Shepherd watching over all your sheep
One say your prayers and
Two close your eyes and
Three in the nursery go to sleep

Then she was moving us out of the rocking chair, across the creaky floor away from the fireplace and I wanted to stay but had already set out for neverneverland and it called to me.

The tide was coming in and the woman on the shore began dropping each stone she had collected and saying "come back when you are ready" and "come back when you can". I opened my eyes and continued to breath with the ocean, lying still for just a bit longer as the four others began to stir. "I do remember, Mama," I telepathed. "The earliest moments.......one never really forgets".

Happy Halloween!!

Halloween is the BEST. These are photos from last year, when we held the 2008 "Zombie Awards" at our house People came dressed as a music star, and walked the red carpet when the arrived. It was all about karaoke, Rock Band, and Fashion Police. I was Avril Lavigne (I know, who really cares about Avril Lavigne, but it was easy to put the costume together!). My husband was much more creative, and knocked the "Prince" concept out of the ball park. Axel Rose made an appearance, as well as Amy Winehouse (photos not appropriate) and many other favorites.

This year at work the staff wanted to do a red carpet theme again. I was strapped for ideas and time, so I went as Slim Shady. I thought it was pretty lame, but the students LOVED IT! Especially the Saudi women, and that was a huge surprise. Tonight we are heading to my parents' house to watch horror movies or play board games and give out candy. Do you celebrate Halloween, and if so, what are you doing?

message from your long lost friend

Oh my gosh, it has been so long since I've talked to you guys and there is a lot to say! My husband and I are expecting a baby in May! This means I am just over 12 weeks along. Morning sickness, fatigue, yes, but things are going well and we are very happy. The experience of telling people our news has been very positive. For some reason this is the part I was dreading. It was very weird for me to go from non-pregnant Sheila to pregnant Sheila in people's eyes, but this was just one of those irrational thoughts that tends to harbor in my mind every once in a while. Family members are super excited. Friends are unbelievably supportive. We feel very loved and blessed.

This, however, is not why I haven't been on here. The truth is that I have zero space left for photos on my computer, and a camera full of pictures that have no where to go. Sometimes I let a very basic obstacle become an enormous mountain, and I shrug my shoulders and say "I don't feel like hiking today". I can be laaaazy. I've missed you guys. I hope you are well and I am sending you happy thoughts and wishes for a great week ahead!

Love,
Sheila

memories, blowing through my square clean green lawn,
are raked
in piles,
bagged,
and trashed.
With diligence.
Back inside,
hear brittle whispers
and grip tightened whitened knuckles
round my weaponry once more.
daily well-intended invasions..
when you called my name into the woods
you must have set the trees in motion
Rake. Bag. Trash.
(we'll have none of that)

I walked in those shoes.
facts of life
were the bane
of mine.
Their joy
ripped open my side
and the scar
only now
will fade
as your stitches,
sinking under skin,
settle
close to my heart.

mothers will mother.
you are, so you will,
and don't you see,
you have,
have been.
Life kneels before you, like a child.
May you kiss Her brow.

I am taking a sick day today. Did some dishes. Watched Bravo. Finished The God of Small Things. Go pick it up, it is so strange and beautiful!!
How are you doing?

We stumbled upon this unbelievable fountain park in Lima our last night there. There was a different piece of music playing at each fountain, new age, classical, opera, ragtime......

I'd like to share this song with you. I saw the video for the first time today and immediately thought of my relationship with some of you. Doesn't this remind you a bit of some of the friendships you've made here? Please enjoy and be reminded of how much you mean to me.