Saturday, August 1, 2009

Good morning everyone! It's been too long since we've really talked. I've been busy pushing poems your way, sorry about that! As you can tell it's something I've been focusing on quite a bit lately, and I've kind of burrowed myself into my blog in a way that doesn't encourage much interaction with you all. Then there's work. I won't go into it. Just know that I miss you guys!

In some important ways I've been doing quite well. It's tiring, but I've been shaving away some of these layers (ok, defenses). I feel supported. Interactions with my husband are hilarious, playful, and warm right now. I am happy.

I still flounder when it comes to figuring out what I need, want, or even like.
For example, should I go to the Newport Folk Festival this weekend? I can't seem to put my finger on any kind of preference. I would enjoy a day at the beach, only it's gray, showers are expected, and I'd have to make small talk with the entire extended family on my Dad's side. You have just experienced an authentic stream of Sheila's consciousness that invites boredom and loneliness into a perfectly good summer's morning. This is how precious weekend moments slip away my friends!:)

I'm off to seize the day. What are you up to? I hope you are well. Happy Saturday to you!



cindy said...

i love your poems! i think it's your blog and you should express yourself as you want to. i'm glad you're feeling well and happy.

kendalee said...

Hi! Good to hear from you Sheila, and sorry it's taken me a day or two to join the conversation. I love your poems and have been enjoying them, but I love to hear your normal chatty voice too and it's great when it says that you're happy. All that hard work on shaving away layers is worth it if that's the outcome! How did you decide to spend your weekend? Did you go to the festival?

I'm struggling a bit with "figuring out what I need, want or even like" too right now. Work is going through the worst kind of hamster wheel phase (quite exhausting and soul-destroying when it continues for too long) and there's lots of inner head and heart roiling going on (some related to work, most not) but not enough time to really sit with it and just reflect, so that answers can float up out of the turbulence. Your Peruvian gent's question, "Are you happy?" has been tumbling around in my head... I don't think I am. But am I unhappy? I'm not sure I am. So what does this mean for me? Haven't a clue. I need to write it out to process it but I haven't found the energy to do that yet. So that's what I'm up to... running, roiling and not really writing. You did ask :)

Happy Tuesday to you!